07 October 2015

Page 280 of 365: Emotional

I realize that I've been quite emotional this week for the reasons that I myself know not of.


There was a dove that fell into a bucket of black paint. She sank deep into the liquid. Her feathers were not waterproof hence they absorbed all the blackness that was there. This black paint apparently did not only change the colour of her feathers, but also her heart. The black dove now turned crude. She lost her self. She became a crow. She got confused of who she was.

One day, she wanted to regain her old self. She wanted to meet another bird who she thought would change her life. She waited for the bird in coldness. She sent a message in a bottle to let the other bird know that she was meeting him.

The other bird did not turn up. The black dove cried. Her tears washed away the blackness where the tears rolled down. The black dove was surprised. She realized that she would only gain her genteelness again once she got more sincere tears of love and sorrow to shower her.

She went home and wept. She collected her tears but this time, it did not wash the blackness away. She wondered why. Maybe she still needed the other bird to cry over her.

06 October 2015

Page 279 of 365: relieved and happy (EDITED)

These emotions in the title are not about the same issue. The former is about someone from the past and the latter is about someone in the present.

Firstly I am relieved that I have collected so much courage to ask and get the answer to my 6-year-old nightmare. For the whole time not knowing the reason, it's not easy for me to move forward. Of course I had let it go long time ago, but there's an unsettled issue that kinda kept holding me back and made it painful every time I turned my head around and looked back to 6 years ago. All in all, everything is done and gone now, I'm relieved because I need to wonder no more.

Secondly, I am wide awake at this hour because I just had a dream of you again. Happy? Maybe. You keep appearing in my dreams. Does it mean I can safely say "you're my dream" because you literally are in my dreams. It's only yesterday that I didn't dream of you-- I dreamed of him from 6 years ago instead (so that's why I settled things between us). But you, hey what are you doing? Why are you only in my dreams. Does this sort of mean that your place is only in my sweet dreams and not in my reality? Ahhhh probably because it's just me who's dreaming of you. Plus a dream can mean nothing. Probably I should stop imagining that this is not one-sided.


I should stop overthinking. Perhaps all that I think is nothing, and means nothing.