06 October 2015

Page 279 of 365: relieved and happy (EDITED)

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These emotions in the title are not about the same issue. The former is about someone from the past and the latter is about someone in the present.


Firstly I am relieved that I have collected so much courage to ask and get the answer to my 6-year-old nightmare. For the whole time not knowing the reason, it's not easy for me to move forward. Of course I had let it go long time ago, but there's an unsettled issue that kinda kept holding me back and made it painful every time I turned my head around and looked back to 6 years ago. All in all, everything is done and gone now, I'm relieved because I need to wonder no more.

Secondly, I am wide awake at this hour because I just had a dream of you again. Happy? Maybe. You keep appearing in my dreams. Does it mean I can safely say "you're my dream" because you literally are in my dreams. It's only yesterday that I didn't dream of you-- I dreamed of him from 6 years ago instead (so that's why I settled things between us). But you, hey what are you doing? Why are you only in my dreams. Does this sort of mean that your place is only in my sweet dreams and not in my reality? Ahhhh probably because it's just me who's dreaming of you. Plus a dream can mean nothing. Probably I should stop imagining that this is not one-sided.

--

I should stop overthinking. Perhaps all that I think is nothing, and means nothing.

10 comments:

  1. wow girl u should write a sonnet.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Should i reveal myself? But what happen next? I can foresee 3 possible consequences - u like me and we fall in love to each other or, or u like but end up as friends or u dont like me coz chemistry aint there , bad timing,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Check this out. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CQjADBCW8AA9Gf1.jpg:large

      You may not want to reveal yourself, I respect that. Part of me wants to get a clue of who you are. That one clue (about you used to live in Subang Jaya) is not enough, maybe. I could speculate but I will never know the answer. I am afraid if I get the wrong person.

      Sometimes I wonder if you're just a random stranger who's playing along just to see me fooling myself talking with someone I don't know :-( At least I need to know if I know you, or how long have we known each other. But, it's all up to you. I won't force.

      Delete
  3. Ok2 u rite i should man up, what about im wearing subang jaya written on shirt waiting for u at airport when u get back to mesia later?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can I ask? Do you change your writing style to cover your identity?

      Oh about your wearing that, haha it's kinda funny you know. What if I don't see you? What if you don't come because you don't know when I'm coming home? So many what-ifs.

      And till now, I still do not know if I know you. I don't even know if you're in New Zealand or Malaysia.

      Delete
  4. i will text to your fb inbox later,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't get it (?).

      This is in response to what?

      Delete
    2. i will say hi to your fb inbox :)

      Delete
    3. You mean you'll inbox me when I'm coming home for good? Or you'll inbox me soon? Sorry, I blur sikit.

      I wonder why it's such a big secret for you to tell me how long have we known each other..

      Delete

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